When God Created Boy Poet from Girl Poet’s Rib

Much nearer to The Beginning than The Now, shortly after He created everything, God created Girl Poet, in His image, to help Him remember and describe what He’d created.

Girl Poet did a swell job and, as specified under God’s list of REASONS FOR CREATING GIRL POET,  she did it in such a way that made God feel exclusively awesome about His creation.  Girl Poet was awesome in word and deed, and she was permitted to be aware of and enjoy her awesomeness, as long as she used her work to make others feel like they were awesome, too.

Everything was cool, because Girl Poet enjoyed creating awesome songs, and felt content in all the groovy characteristics God allowed her.  Her only problem with the contract was her obligation to make everyone else believe they were awesome.  Girl Poet, poet that she was, was an observer by nature.  She paid attention to the folks around the camp, and not everyone was even sorta cool, let alone awesome.

Girl Poet looked around and said to herself, “What is UP?  I am supposed to write beautiful songs that reflect the unconditional awesomeness of all God’s creation.  But that is effing difficult sometimes!”

There came a day when some guy got stoned to death for accidentally getting a little pee on his tunic, then making the mistake of getting within 100 yards of the tabernacle.  He got the crap stoned out of him and this was a turning point for Girl Poet, or so goes the story coming down.

Girl Poet saw the Anti-Awesome violent episode and was perturbed.  And she could not help but write a song about what happened, exactly as it had happened.  And it happened that the song that came from the stoning story was a little sad, and contained some fury from deep inside Girl Poet, and when The G heard it He wasn’t jazzed, because the song did not make Him or The Nation look that awesome.  He came looking for Girl Poet, and she hid from Him, but as you can probably guess, He figured out where she was (He really is awesome).

Girl Poet said, “Lord, somebody got stoned for getting a little piss on his pants.  What should I do?”

And God said, “You do your duty as outlined in the agreement GOD’S REASONS FOR CREATING GIRL POET.  You tell the story and make it look awesome.”

That’s when Girl Poet said, “But I don’t want to make it look awesome. I want to TELL IT LIKE IT IS.”

God looked at Girl Poet.  He didn’t know what to do.   She had tiny fangs, and hair the color of mashed carrots.  She was cute as a kitten on a Camaro.  But she was getting on his nerves.  He decided:

It is not good for Girl Poet to be alone, so concerned about telling it like it is.  I will make her a partner to help her.

So God put Girl Poet in a deep sleep, and from one of her ribs he created Boy Poet.

God really liked Boy Poet immediately.  God realized, Now the Boy Poet can make everything look awesome!  He shall not care about telling it like it is; rather he will be preoccupied with making even his own asshole characteristics seem awesomely charming in their backward-ness!  And the Girl Poet– well, who really cares what she does, cause now there’s the Boy!

And so Girl Poet was free to tell it like it is.

Boy Poet looked at Girl Poet and was in love with her.  Girl Poet woke up and looked at Boy Poet and was vaguely amused.  “Neat,” Girl Poet said, “he can write in the sand with his pee, whereas I cannot.”

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Beth Ferda is a Cellpoems editor and blog contributor.

Tagged as: Girl Poet and Boy Poet